Sunday, June 24, 2012

Blue Monday

I was picking out tunes on YouTube to add to my playlist when Linda says "Play that song about Mondays."

"What song?"  I ask.

"You know, the one with Monday in the title."

"Do you mean 'Monday Monday' by the Mamas and the Papas?"

"No, not that one..."

And we're off to another adventure into Linda's thinking process.  "What are some of the lyrics?" I inquire.

"I'm not sure.  I just know that Monday is in the title."

"Could it be 'Stormy Monday' by Cream?"

"How does that one go?" she wants to know.  So I pull it up on YouTube and play it for her.  Really good jam.

"No," she says, "that's not the one."

"How about 'I Don't Like Mondays' by the Boomtown Rats?"

She says, "I like that one but that's not the one I mean."

"I hope you're not talking about the Carpenters 'Rainy Day and Mondays'..."

"No.  Name another."

"The Bangles did 'Manic Monday'"

"That's another good one, but still not it."

"Can you whistle it or hum it?"  And will wonders never cease, Linda does know to hum the tune, and I recognize the song.  I sing the opening line for Linda, "Monday morning feels so bad."

"YES!"  she exclaims.  "That's it."

I tell her, "It's by a band called the Easybeats, and the name of the song is 'Friday On My Mind.'  Monday is not in the title!"

"Sure it is," she argues, "'Monday I Got Friday On My Mind'"

I already know there is no sense in trying to argue this without proof.  I pull up Wikipedia, enter 'Easybeats' in the search window, and call Linda over to read the first paragraph which refers to their song 'Friday On My Mind.'

"I don't have my glasses handy," she states and refuses to look at the screen.  Then, instead of allowing me to prove myself correct and herself wrong, Linda changes the subject.  (This is standard tactic of hers when she knows she's going to lose an argument.)

Linda asks, "What's that song with Tuesday in the title?  The one that I like..."

Arrrrggghhh!!!!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

From Adam to the Garden

The new Adam Sandler movie is out.  This time he plays a wacky character with a silly voice.  I wonder how long it took him to come up with that premise.  What a stretch!

Did you know that if you total all of his movies, they have grossed over three billion dollars?  This weekend's "That's My Boy" release will add to that money.

Unfortunately, both Sandler and Tom Cruise's "Rock of Ages" lost this weekend's box office war to "Madagascar 3."  Apparently people prefer animal animation to goofballs or dwarfs.  But who can blame the movie going public when Martin Short's voice is in play.  Ah, a third of the Three Amigos...  the vocal styling of Ed Grimley... and a Dennis Quaid infused bloodstream.  Who could ask for anything more?

Here is something I learned this week.  I started watching a show called "The United Stats of America."  The key word there is Stats, not States.  Stats as in statistics.  Anyway, I learned that I have a better chance of bedding Charlize Theron than winning the Powerball.  Powerball odds are 1 in 175 million.  Supermodel odds are 1 in 88,000.  I found those stats fascinating.  I only wish they would have told me where to buy the Charlize ticket.

I spends a lot of time watching edjamikatable tv.  I is always be in lernt sumtem new.  Thanks to the Discovery channel I now know that 300 million years ago, the equator crossed over the State of Illinois.  If you so desired you could head to eastern Illinois and dig fossils out of the prehistoric rain forest that existed there 300 million years back.  On the off chance that you do go on an archaeological dig because of my words, and you have a massive find of historic geological importance (...you know, big bucks!), please do not forget to send my 15% cut.



Sunday, June 10, 2012

A Short Return

I've decided to start a business. It will be a barbershop that also sells clothes for expectant mothers. I will call it "From Hair To Maternity."

Nothing like starting out with a groan.

Here's another:

There seems to be a trend in making movies from old 70's fads.  Rockem Sockem Robots was filmed as Real Steel.  The Transformers franchise is another trend gone movie.  So is Battleship.  This got me thinking, (and we know that can't be any good) how about this as an idea for a flick:
Pet Rock - the Movie  
starring Brad Pitt as Pet Rock
and
Angelina Jolie as the box Pet Rock comes in.