It's Called Acting

Oh, the scandal of it all! Did Natalie Portman dance as much as she claimed in "The Black Swan?" I am so in doubt about her talents that I can hardly eat or sleep. Why won't she answer her detractors? Oh, Natalie, please dance your way back into our hearts. Show that uncredited ballerina-double to be a liar, a mere seeker of fame at your expense. Tell us it was not your face morphed onto the Black Swan dancer, that the body we watched spinning into a dark bird was truly yours. Next, we'll be finding out that you never learned to be an assassin for "The Professional," that the hits completed were not yours to claim.

The funny part of the Portman affair is that the woman who claims to be the real ballerina, has come forward to state that she does not want money, fame, nor credit for the movie. And she is willing to appear on any TV show to say so, for whatever pay is customary for a guest. She wants everyone on the planet to know that she did not receive the proper end credits for the Black Swan and is quite alright with that. I feel that we should honor her requests and not recognize her or acknowledge her in any shape, manner or form. Let us allow Natalie to reclaim her ballet shoes and remove the tarnish.

There have been murmurings that Natalie should return her Oscar. I am not certain, but I don't believe this has ever been done. I know Marlon Brando refused the Oscar, but I never heard about the academy sending a repo man to retrieve a statuette. That's not quite true. Don't quote me, but I believe that when an Oscar recipient dies or no longer wants it, the statue is returned to the academy. I think I read something like that many years ago when Oscar started showing up in pawn shops. I could be wrong. I'm too lazy to research it. So for the sake of argument, let's just say I'm right.

Anyway, I hope they resolve this Natalie Portman issue before the release of "Thor." If it turns out that she did not do all the dancing she claimed, then how can I believe it when she supposedly falls in love with a Norse God? Don't burst my bubble and tell me that movies are not real. I can't take all that disappointment.