Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Linda's X-Mas Gifts

It's that time of year again.  Holiday shopping.  This afternoon I found a pristine twelve foot long 2x4 at Home Depot.  I have no use for it but I think Linda does.  I recall several months earlier Linda was hinting around that she wanted some wood.  I am quite the attentive spouse.  But as my luck would have it, Home Depot does not gift wrap.  Nor did they have a decorative box for the lumber.   So I had to forgo that Christmas gift.  I'll have to stick with my original choice; an 80 ounce bottle of Liquid-Plumbr.  You may think that seems like an odd gift, but you will not believe the number of times Linda has whispered in my ear "How about cleaning my pipes, Big Boy."

Last year I bought her a bottle of No-Dose and a watch.  She was forever saying "Don't you think its time we go to bed?"   Well, I was never sleepy when she'd ask; it was always early in the evening.  So I figure the No-Dose will keep her awake then she can check the time herself on her new Swatch.

I always try to get what she asks for.  The year before that I had bought her a tool chest filled with every possible size of flat-head and philip-head screws.  They were all good, as requested, but I'll be damned if I seen her use one of them.

Four years back, for her Christmas gift, I replaced the front door of our home with a revolving door so she could have easier in-out, in-out access.

Linda's requests are not always easy.  Do you know how many pet stores I have been to searching for some creature that has two backs?  I still haven't found that particular beast.  When I do, that will be a Christmas to remember.

By the way, does anyone know of a dance studio that teaches dancing horizontally?

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