Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Back in the Day...

I've been thinking of changing my name to Methuselah. As I sat in my art class today, I overheard a fellow student say, "Man, back in the day, you could smoke in restaurants. They had ash trays for you and everything."

Back in the day??? What? That was only six months ago! There has to be a minimum set to qualify using "back in the day" statements. You should not be allowed to use those words unless you are referring to five years ago or longer. I am willing to accept a five year minimum for teenagers. Five years back to an 18 year old seems a lot longer than five years back to senior citizens. But if you are over 35, when you say "back in the day," you better be referring to the 1980's or earlier. In fact, let us come up with a reasonable rule for using that phrase: Round off your age to the lower ten year mark and cut that number in half. If you are in your thirties, cut thirty in half. You can use "back in the day" for events fifteen years ago or longer. People in there forties have to go back twenty years. Teenagers require a five year minimum. And those that are nine or younger should never use that phrase. In fact, if you hear a seven year old start a sentence with "Back in the day...," you should immediately slap the little bastard before he can finish the statement.


After thinking about it, let's quit using that phrase altogether. Either that or let's decide on a specific date in the past that the phrase is referring. How does October 12th, 1979, sound? Okay? I don't hear nay votes. Okay, it's settled. From this moment forth, when anyone says "back in the day" they are talking about October 12th, 1979. If you're not happy with that date, then it's your own fault. You should have nominated a different date before the final vote was taken. Sorry.

What's next on our agenda? Rap music and its roots. Just a few words. Today's rap music is an extension of Beatnik poetry. In the 1950's, in coffee houses across America, beatniks would take to the stage and recite rhymes while bongos were being thumped and guitars were being strummed. Poetry to background music. In other words, rap is actually derived from the Eisenhower era, bohemian white culture. Bet you thought it was a black thing, didn't you?

[Warning: Subject is subject to change!]

John Lennon, if his life had not been stolen by bullets, would be celebrating his 70th birthday next month. There will celebrations all over the planet. If you are curious, a Lennon fan, or perhaps a closet Beatlemaniac, you can go to http://www.happybirthdayjohn.org/ to find numerous places on earth that will be paying tribute. You may be lucky and already be near one. At any rate, this is very informative site for one that just went online this week. I imagine it will be updated daily. (I used the word "imagine" in a John Lennon reference. This is either serendipity or synchronicity. I always mix up those two.)

Well, I used up my blog time for the night. My television schedule keeps me substantially occupied. That and a dog who always seems to demand my attention. I just fed her the other day and here she is, begging again.

Talk again later. Ciao.

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