Sunday, July 10, 2011

2D or Not 2D

I watched a special on 3-D movies.  This was on Roger Ebert's current movie review show.  The two hosts, neither one is Roger, discussed the positiveness of 3-D movies (such as "Avatar" and the Pixar movies) versus the negative aspect of turning 2-D movies (like "Clash of the Titans" and "The Last Airbender") into 3-D just to make a few extra bucks at the box office. The general consensus was that the movie going public are tiring of shelling out their hard earned cash to watch a 3-D flick when the same movie in 2-D is just as entertaining and can add an extra box of Raisinets to your concession stand purchase.

The term 3-D bothers me.  Every movie I have ever seen was in 3-D.  I have seen a few in 4-D also.  Movies that advertise as being 3-D are technically 4-D.  We exist in 4 dimensions: height, width, depth and.... (place dramatic pause here)  ...time!

Yes, time! Time is a dimension.  Without it, if you were to watch Avatar in 3-D, you would be frozen staring at one cell of the film coming off the screen for all of eternity.  You would not be able to register the image in your mind because your thoughts as well as time has stopped.  You would be a flesh and blood statue forever sitting in a movie theater, unable to appreciate that one single scene from Avatar that your eyes stay fixed on forever and ever.

The last movie I watched was the 2-D version of the Green Lantern.  In reality it was in 3-D.  I know this because not only did the movie have height and width, I saw it from beginning to end.  Therefore, the dimension of time was used to display the film.   And I am glad for that.  I hate to imagine being imprisoned for all eternity staring at a single screen shot of that movie.  Even if my mind would be unable to register it.

3-D movies (technically I should say 4-D) are considered to be a passing fad.  It's not that people hate watching them.  Besides having to lay out the extra moolah, people hate wearing those silly ass glasses.  Plus the effects are not that impressive anymore.  Some scenes are lengthened and slowed down just for the 3-D effect, not to further the plot.  Watching that same scene on a flat screen is boring.  We have been dazzled already, so lets get back to the story.  If it were possible to film a movie and view it in all its dimensions without having to strap on awkward eye gear, then, I believe, all movies would be shown this way.  Also, the cost factor would have to be reasonable on both ends of the spectrum; the viewing public and the filmmaker.  I think that day may one day arrive.  Unfortunately, that day is not in the foreseeable future.

One last closing thought. I wonder if they make 3-D porn?  I do not know if they do or don't, although I can picture that as a moneymaking enterprise.  I'd go out of my way to see Pamela Anderson popping out of the silver screen.

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