Sunday, August 1, 2010

Another Harebrained Scheme

I have come up with a scheme to improve the economic status of my hometown. This scheme may be harebrained but I will state it none-the-less.

I love coleslaw. I considered myself a connoisseur of coleslaw. To my knowledge there is no coleslaw capital. So why not make Center Line, MI, "the Coleslaw Capital of America?" This can be true if enough people claim it to be so. Imagine this: an annual coleslaw festivity where people from all over the United States bring their coleslaw recipes to Center Line in hopes of being crowned the King or Queen of Coleslaw. I would offer my services to judge such a contest.

You may ask "How will this help the economy?" I shall explain. We will insist all entries for the "Coleslaw Crown" must use Michigan grown cabbage in their recipes. This will enhance the Michigan cabbage market. The cabbage farmers will make more money. There will be a demand for more vehicles to bring the cabbage to market. This will put a boon to the auto industry's truck divisions. They will have to hire more workers to supply the demand.

Local hotels and motels will be filling up for the month long "Coleslaw Bowl." Yes, their will be parades and floats and football. The crowning of the Coleslaw King (or Queen) will be during halftime of the Pay-Per-View stadium game. Do you see where I'm going with this? New jobs will become available in every field. We will need everyone from laborers who will build the floats, run the carnival rides, sweep up the confetti, work in the restaurants and bars, to the professionals who will design the floats, work the cameras and special effects of the live broadcasts, administer pharmaceuticals to those overzealous attendees whose eyes were bigger than their stomachs. We will need people from all walks of life; doctors, police, chefs, artists, lawn care workers, electricians, plumbers... the list goes on and on.

So how do we get started? Word of mouth! Its now in your hands. If you want to see a return to prosperity, you must start spreading the word: Center Line, Michigan, is the Coleslaw Capital of America. Try saying it a few times. "Center Line, Coleslaw Capital" has a nice ring to it. Add the words to all your emails. Make people curious. Before long we will have the first annual coleslaw competition.

For those of you who are not fond of coleslaw, I will be more than happy to eat your share.

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