Thursday, March 17, 2011

An Apple Owl of Gee

I have been chided.  Now that's a word you don't hear everyday.  Chided.  Perhaps that is too strong.  Yet, if you were to look it up, you would find one of the definitions to be: scold, or reproach; to find fault.  Yes, one of you has chided me, and rightly so.  I used the phrase "Gallows Humor" incorrectly.  Or did I?  Recently I stated that "Gilbert Gottfried has what is known as Gallows Humor" and someone made the comment that "...traditionally gallows humour is used by those who are themselves in horrible situations."  (Note the spelling of the word humour.  I will talk about this in a bit.)  Since Gottfried is not in Japan among the suffering, his humor should be referred to as Black Comedy and not Gallows Humor.

Join with me now on a journey into my convoluted wisdom to try to correct my obvious error.  Gilbert is driving along Santa Monica Boulevard in his brand new Toyota Prius.  His car accelerates without warning.  He steps on the brakes but they do not slow the vehicle.  He is heading straight towards a cliff with a 200 foot drop into a cavern below.  He tries to turn away but his steering is locked.  He had received in the mail that morning a Recall Notice about his Prius.  The electrical controls were found to be faulty and if he takes his vehicle into a local dealer, they will replace the bad parts with good.  Gilbert had taken his Prius to the shop where he had bought it.  In fact that is where he is coming from now as he speeds towards the cliff.  When he was at the dealers, they told him that they do not have the part he needs in stock, and since the parts are manufactured in Japan, there is no telling when said parts will become available.  The earthquake and tsunami have destroyed the manufacturing plants where the parts are made.  Gottfried realizes that, even though thousands miles away, Japan's earthquake and tsunami are going to end his life.  The last thing he does in this life is tweet a few a jokes and then fly off the cliff to his demise.  Therefore, I can safely state that his remarks can be construed as gallows humor.

Now for my next song and dance...

I am now going to do something I have never done before.  I am going to recommend another blog.  Here is the link:
This very well written blog is by an "Incoherent ranter and rambler, specialising in topics he knows little about, usually from the comfort of an armchair."  If I did not know better, I would say this is British version of my blog.  I am assuming that he is from Britain.  I do not know this for a fact.  Remember what is said about the word "assume:"  "When you assume, you make a SUM out of AS and E."  (or something like that)  In fact, I do not know if he is a he.  Gender aside, the blog is worth a look.

But I am not finished with the blog author (or my blog commenter).  I said earlier to look at the word "humour,"  remember?  This is why I believe the author to whom I refer is British.  In Great Britain they have an abundant supply of the letter U.  They have so many, they try to slip them in words all the time.  Color becomes colour. flavor turns into flavour, humor into humour, etc.  They keep slipping in these smile-shaped letters every chance they get.  I wish they would get it into their heads that we do not have the time to read all those extra U's.  The same came be said for pronunciation of certain words.  Is it really necessary to pronounce every letter in the word "schedule?"  And where do they get off putting an F sound in the word lieutenant?  Okay, they may have started the English language, but it was in America that Daniel Webster's favorite cousin (that's favorite not favourite) Noah spent 27 years compiling the dictionary.  Oh, sure, you got your Oxford-English Dictionary, but try carrying one of those around in your back pocket.  Webster is the way to go.

Well, enough of my blather.  I don't want to start an international incident.  To end with a compromise I will admit that I really am a big fan of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards... all of the Rolling Stones I should say.  But do you know where they got their name from?  From a song of the same name by American Blues musician, Muddy Waters.  So there!  Are we good, UK?

One last thing to put a smile on some faces.  Locked in Gilbert Gottfried's trunk, plummeting off the cliff along with Gilbert, is Charlie Sheen.  How he got there is up to your own imagination.


  1. Thanks for the recommendation, but I barely have time...actually that is not true...I barely remember to read this blog without adding another to my "must do" list. Not to say that these narratives and musings are not totally worthwhile.

  2. After stumbling upon your blog, and reading several of your posts, I have come to the conclusion that I am glad I stumbled. I thoroughly enjoy your "silly crap", and intend to read more. Thanks!