Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Excuses and Cigarettes

I am not being diligent in my postings. It has been a few days since the last one. But I can't help it. I have been attending other web sites. Like the man said who fell in the wood chipper, "I'm all over the place." Several years back I planned on starting a procrastination society. It was something I have planning to develop until recently. About a month back, I heard that there had been a procrastination club created in the mid-1950's, fifty-six years ago. They are currently planning their 50 year anniversary party. Since I do not have to create the organization, I can now join the one already in existence. I will do that as soon as I get a chance. Maybe in time for the party.

It's not like I'm lazy, it's just that I have short bursts of enthusiastic ambition or creativity that are separated by great spasms of time. I am currently waiting for the next energenic cycle to occur. You know that feeling like anything is possible and you accomplish it as proof.

The last time I felt like I could conquer the world is when I successfully quit smoking. I hope the word "successfully" remains. It's been seven and a half years since I last partook of nicotine pleasure. Not true. I still inhale second-hand smoke. Let me correct myself by saying "It has been seven and a half years since I last held a tube of tobacco to my lips and sucked in the fumes from the burning opposite end."

I did not intend to quit smoking. I had a choice: Quit smoking or quit breathing. My lungs were inflicted with emphysema. If I walked up a flight of steps, I would have to sit on the top stair to catch my breath. I complained to my doctor. He did various tests on me and came to the conclusion that I only had 65% lung capacity. But he assured me that with enough cigarettes I could cut that number in half, and I could smoke for the rest of my life, which would have been two or three years. My mind figured that the doctor was just trying to scare me, but my lungs suspected he was telling the truth. I asked if it would be better if I cut down to two packs a day. Could I stretch that two or three year mark to ten or fifteen? I was told that the damage done would stay that way, but if I quit, there would not be any additional harm. So reluctantly I quit my Camel filters. I use to joke that I had saved enough Camel coupons for a chest x-ray but my goal was save up for the Smokin' Joe Iron Lung. I still have a shitload of coupons and no desire to see for what they can be exchanged.

On May 1st, Michigan is going smoke-free. That is to say, that smoking in public places will no longer be legal. All the bars and restaurants can throw away their ashtrays. They will not be needed again. Linda, my significant other, still smokes and claims that this new law is a personal assault upon her. I try to tell her that the new law also includes households and that after May 1st she will have to smoke in the back yard. Unfortunately, she knows me too well and has already gone online to read the full regulations of the law. It would be nice if all smoking materials were outlawed, and the U.S. was completely nicotine free. I know people will initially gripe if this came to pass, but after a few years they will all be grateful. I know I hated having to quit, but today I wish I had done it decades earlier.

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