Tuesday, March 2, 2010

VCR Tapes

It's time for me to write in my blog again. I know I am not regular with my postings, but that's okay, for I am my only fan. And not that big of a fan either. I've been debating on if I should share this site. "Who am I debating with?" you ask. The answer is "myself" and I am losing the arguement. Now it is up to you to figure out which side I am on.

So far, I haven't been approached for money, by either the good people at blogger.com or a 3rd party affiliate. This is good. I have no money. All I have is VCR tapes. Do you realize how hard it is to pay the mortgage with old VCR tapes? How many copies of Die Hard will it take to even up the tab?

Here's a true story. About twenty years back, I bought a VCR camera. It was a fun toy for a while. I still have the tapes I made then, but I haven't watched them since. I do not know if they will still work. I also was a big fan of rental movies. I would rent everything on the shelf. Tuesdays were especially nice since that was the day of new releases. After viewing all the new releases I would scan the rows of movies in search of old, yet unseen entertainment to rent. On one occasion I came accross a film that was supposedly a comedy. It was filled with one unfunny bit after another. It had to be the worst movie of all time. So undesirable is this bit of cinema, that I cannot retain it's title. Nor do I want to. I was so furious at the waste of the two dollars rental fee, that I wanted to share my frustration.

VCR pre-recorded tapes have an indentation in them that prevents accidently recording over. If you look at an old tape you will find either the hole on a pre-recording, or the hole covered by a break-away plastic tab for recordables. It's break-away in case you record something that you wish to safeguard. Once you have completed your taping, you can snap off the tab and your VCR is protected against re-recording. That is unless you cover the hole with a piece of tape. Then it is possible to record on the tape, pre-recorded or otherwise. This is what I did to the tape of the unmemorable comedy. At the beginning of the spool, I taped over the coming attractions. The next person to rent this tape will start their evening's entertainment with an image of me sitting in my lazy-boy. I tell the viewing audience that they have just wasted their monies. I am sarcastic and cruel in my diatribe, calling the audience bourgeois idiots.

I returned the altered tape to the video store and time marched on. About two years later, I came home with a fresh supply of rented tapes. Upon starting the first tape, I was treated to a lecture by me. I had rented the unfunniest comedy a second time.

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