Last night Linda and I are watching "Swamp Men" and I ask her, "Do you know what they call alligators that are HIV positive?"
"No, what?" she responds.
Not one of my best jokes, but Linda seemed to like it. So when she was talking to her brother this morning, I hear her ask him, "Guess what they call elephants with hepatitis C?" She pauses for effect and then says, "Gatorade!"
Her brother says, "I don't get it."
To which she says, "Yeah, it was funnier when I heard it." She calls to me, "John, what was that gatorade joke?"
If you have ever flubbed a joke and then tried to correct it, you would know that there is no resuscitating a fallen joke. I try to explain this, but Linda is insistent that I repeat the joke. So I do.
At the punchline, her brother puts on a fake smile and says "Ha." Just a singular "Ha." He could of at least doubled it up. Even if it was a phony "Ha-ha," a "ha-ha" is a courtesy to the joke teller and shows the comic that you are still on his side. A singular "ha" is more out of pity, and completes the comic's embarrassment over the bombed jest. This is why the only "stand up" I do is when I want to adjust my shorts.
I'll be certain to post any more humiliations when they come along. It shouldn't be too long of a wait.