I'm at the drive-thru window at McDonald's. I spot a sign that says "Free WiFi." The girl hands my order to me and I say, "Would you mind throwing in one of those wifey things for me."
She looks at me dumbstruck.
I continue, "You're sign says free wifey and I would like one, please."
She looks at the sign and says, "You have to bring your computer in here for WiFi." She emphasised the word "WiFi."
I say, "Don't be ridiculous. Wifey or WiFi, I don't care how you pronounce it. You are advertising 'Free WiFi' and it doesn't have any conditions attached. I would just like my 'Free WiFi' to go. I made a purchase, I am entitled."
"Sir, you don't understand. WiFi is an internet connection."
"Okay. I'll take to mine to go."
"WiFi is something that you have to use here."
"Are you saying you will give me a wifey, but only if I use her in public?"
"WiFi! WiFi is not a person."
"You mean like one of them blow up dolls?"
"No, sir. WiFi is for your computer."
"Well, okay, I got a computer. Give me one of those WiFi things to take home with me."
"You have to bring your computer in here to use WiFi."
"Now, darling, that would be a lot of work. I got one of those big old monitors and the box with the computer stuff is pretty big, too. It would be a lot easier just to bring one of those WiFi things back home and use it there."
She looked at me totally perplexed. After a minute, I saw a light go on behind her eyes. She said, "I'm sorry, sir, we are fresh out of wifeys. Would you like a complimentary bag of fries instead?"
A few moments later, I was driving out of McDonald's smiling happily, eating free french fries.