Sunday, January 9, 2011

Gnu and Ewe

While Eliza busied herself trying to jump atop the gnu, the safari guide settled under a bush to sneak a nap. The guide, whose name is Chakta, was a native of the Republic of Congo. He was also the tallest pygmy of his tribe. He had learned English in England where he had attended Oxford on scholarship. After he had earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in general studies, he returned to the Congo and became a safari guide. Soloman's Safari Spectacular, for whom he worked, could care less about his degree. His ability to speak several languages was what got him the job. The pay was lousy. It was the tourist's gratuities that made up for the minimal salary.

Chakta looked over at Eliza one last time before beginning his nap. She was hanging sideways off the gnu. She had one leg over the animals back while she hugged the gnu's neck. She lost her grip and fell on her rump. She got up immediately and lunged hands first across the beast. She laid there momentarily before attempting to swing a leg around to sit atop the animal. As soon as she moved, so did the gnu, and she was once again thrown to the ground. Chakta smiled to himself at her inability to mount the beast. He shut his eyes and fell right asleep.

Eliza's husband, Jimmy Pernell, approached her and offered his hand to help her back to her feet. "Don't you think," he said, "that it would be easier if you put a saddle on him?"

On her feet, Eliza brushed dirt off her bottom, and glared at Jimmy. "Do you have a gnu saddle?"

"Does it have to be new?" Jimmy jokes.

"Oh, aint you the clever one. You know what I mean."

Smiling, Jimmy starts to says, "No, I don't have one. We should have stopped in the Used Gnu Saddle Shop..."

" opposed to the New Gnu Saddle Shop?" she finished.

Jimmy adds, "Either there or the New and Used Gnu and Ewes Supply Depot."

"Is that for new gnus and used ewes or for new ewes and used gnus?"

"Any combination will do. They even clothe nude ewes and gnus for you."

"If the new gnu knew nude ewes use used shoes, they would want a pair too."

"Why would the gnus choose shoes when what they need is a saddle."

"I don't know. I'll have to ask them."

And she did.

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